Can a Beta Become Alpha Male?
Most people perceive themselves as the product of genetics and circumstance only, even though in each day that passes, countless people manage to change their lives from end to end. Their belief in their ability to change their destiny is small, and this philosophy permeates men like you who want and can become an alpha male and have a much better life.
Beta Can Become Alpha – I’ll Prove It
My goal in this article is, first and foremost, to make you get rid of the idea that you can’t change who you are.
Alpha and Beta – Summarized Definitions
The alpha male is the strongest figure in each group. Not necessarily physically. He’s the person that everyone looks up to and wants to be like or get close to. When an alpha enters the room, the atmosphere changes completely, and you can’t remain indifferent – neither to his presence nor actions. Women want him and his closeness. He cares not only for himself but also for the general good of the group. The unity and security of his group are very important to him, which makes him somewhat of a fatherly figure that’s authoritative and beloved.
A beta male, on the other hand, is a negligible player on the field. The situation would’ve seemed more or less the same, whether or not he was present. He has no critical significance for the group. He’s “lost in the crowd”, which makes him less prestigious, and a little invisible in the group aspect. He’s weaker, especially in mental terms. Therefore, in general, will take care only of himself – he doesn’t have the resources or the responsibility to take care of the whole, the group. “A man is a wolf to another man”. He has no advantage in the competition for the hearts of women. Read more: Signs you are a beta male.
If I had to make a distinction using a single word between alpha and beta, I would choose the word “responsibility”. In my opinion, it represents the essential difference in perception between the two types of men. One takes responsibility, and the other flees from it. It’s easy to understand, then, who’s in charge.
Escaping Responsibility – a Recipe for Beta
Actually, I want to expand your understanding of the problem beyond the realm of the beta male. All who escape responsibility are the failures of the future. Beta is just a certain form of a man who hasn’t managed to qualify for the top of the social pyramid (there’s nothing wrong with that, of course – just a loss).
I’ll explain what I mean: When people don’t recognize their mistakes or take no responsibility for the situation, they inevitably begin to blame the whole world (“it must be someone’s fault!”) – The government, friends, family, genetics, childhood and God. How much does help them? Zero. Nada. Still, it will not prevent them from accusing everyone except themselves the next time. It’s a constant thought pattern, and it’s typical for, well… losers.
Every man can change himself, become better and stronger – responsible for his fate. However, it’s much easier to blame than to take responsibility and start a process of change. This requires admission of error, constant learning, modesty and discipline – leaving the comfort zone. Most people do not agree to this deal, and use all the excuses that come to their imagination to justify this refusal. He’s poor because of the economy, she’s fat because of genes, men are beta because… you name it.
People Have Already Done It
Do you know the number one advice of billionaires who get asked what their recipe for success is? Each of them phrases it slightly different, naturally, but all of them give one critical quality – willpower.
It’s interesting, they could’ve said “perseverance”, “seriousness”, “persistence” – but as I thought about it I realized that willpower contained all the qualities needed for achieving goals. You just want it some much that nothing can stop you. Not genetics, not the economy, not friends, not even yourself. The will is stronger than that, and you’ll do everything, really everything to succeed.
This logic is what guides men who’ve taken things to their own hands and decided to get out of their beta paradigm. They used to call themselves “nice guys” (probably to imply that men who are more successful are bad). But the desire to be more, to succeed in business, with women and with the people around them took them out of this way of thinking. They openly admitted: “I’m a beta, how do I fix this?” and found themselves seeking help, and among other things reaching this blog. Sounds like a familiar experience?
I Was a Serious Beta – You Can Change
This is not the place to unfold my personal story, so I’ll touch on it very briefly to give you more evidence that people are able to flip their lives completely, and I’m among them.
I grew up in an agreeable environment, very gentle to the outside world yet strict at home. As an only child, I had extreme parental pressure and preoccupation on my behavior, which led to countless remarks, shouts and humiliations (not out of evilness, they believed this is good education), especially from the age of 7 onwards.
I became more introverted, shy, weak, with self-confidence level below zero. As you probably understand, not the best qualities to have when meeting other kids at school. I thought of suicide (as far as a child could grasp the concept) innumerable times during elementary school and felt like it’s hell, even though I was never beaten and had a good socioeconomic status. You can guess what mess of a man such a child becomes. And so it was.
Wrapping up, somewhere in high school I decided to make a change in attitude. To stop blaming the whole world, stop thinking that everything that’s happening is against me, and start developing who I am as an individual. It didn’t end there and there were big ups and downs, but to get to the point – you see, I wasn’t beta, I was sub-beta, even in my adult life. I had psychologically difficult circumstances, yet I made a huge change in my life.
You might be thinking: “Oria, your situation wasn’t terrible. Mine, on the other hand…” and you know what? I won’t even argue with that. You’re probably right. Your childhood, conditions and circumstances are very difficult. But what does it say about you and your willpower? Absolutely nothing! This is exactly my point: You can make a change, it’ll be a big challenge – but you can.
“An Alpha Male Wouldn’t Read About Becoming an Alpha”
A common argument that tries to prove that a person is only born (or at-least raised) alpha and there’s nothing to do about it. Of course this is wrong.
Yes, an alpha probably wouldn’t sit to read this kind of information. But hey, a child born to a family-business of blacksmiths won’t go to study blacksmithing – he already knows this stuff. In the modern world men are confused about their role in society, for all sorts of reasons (detailed in the article I’ve linked). If there’s something common to many men today it’s a lack of a strong fatherly figure.
We usually grow up with our mother or nursemaid until kindergarten, where the nanny is in charge. Then to school, where most teachers are females. Until we reach high school, where there is some sort of balance in the teachers’ gender, we’ve already missed the primary age of education, and it’s very hard to influence us through personal example – especially at such very rebellious age. By now we’ve absorbed a lot of female influence, and it’s a little too late for male teachers to make a strong-enough impression on us as teenagers.
In contrast to these conditions of development, which are standard for most men today, there are those who grew up in male environment. A great example is a child who has a big brother who spends a lot of time with him. A big brother has two distinct advantages with which he’s a substitute for a father figure:
- As of now, the world is becoming more feminine and sensitive. If the age difference between the brothers is big, the older brother may have grown up in a more masculine period.
- The brother can leave the feminine matrix because he’s grown-up. A young man is already able to discern what’s masculine and what isn’t, as opposed to a child. It’s possible that the older brother has created a conscious personal transformation in his life, and now his presence is beneficial for the kid.
Children with a strong father figure have a much better chance of becoming an alpha when they grow up, even without reading and studying materials like in this. My point is: some children have received early education and don’t have to learn. But that doesn’t say anything about the ability of people who weren’t as lucky, to become an alpha. Just like the example of the blacksmiths, if a child has to work as a blacksmith and his father didn’t teach how – he goes to a teacher, and becomes a real blacksmith.
Same thing exactly with being an alpha male. There are those who’ve won the education from their environment early-on, but most men need to learn this stuff on their own.
Should I Be an Alpha Male?
Wow, it’s sort of like asking “Should I be rich?”. True, there’s bigger responsibility with assets, business and money – but it’s so much better than being poor.
If you twist your nose from reading this, don’t look at this materialistically only. Rich people can be healthier and take care of their loved-ones, develop the economy and technology, provide jobs for people, give huge amounts of charity, and more. The difference is between ‘can’ and ‘cannot’. As Jordan Belfort says in The Wolf of Wall Street: “I’ve been a poor man, and I’ve been a rich man. And I choose rich every f******* time!”.
The smart choice for a man is to be the alpha. It’s power that serves him very well, no doubt. But at the same time, this is power that the group, perhaps even the world, needs. After all, if an alpha male is terrible, why does everyone love him and give him resources? Simple – he is needed. Here are some key benefits of being an alpha male.
- Quality women. The best known benefit. Yes, alpha male is inherently a magnet of stunning and high quality women. He provides them with the protection and security they need. It can be expressed in attraction and flings, or in a good girlfriend, a life partner.
- Respect and admiration. It’s hard not to give special attention to an alpha male. When he enters the room, the atmosphere changes, usually positively. He “makes everything better”. As a kind of gratitude, people feel an urge to respect the alpha in the group.
Try to think about the attitude to the president (a definite alpha) as he walks down a street. Any normal person, even if he doesn’t agree with him politically and hates his guts – will give him some sort of respect.
- Freedom. The alpha male isn’t accountable to anyone. No one can “punish” him, because from a hierarchical standpoint, no one’s above him in the group. It means absolute freedom in what he says and in his actions. His opinion will be heard (and will probably be respected) in every matter. This is in contrast to a beta, who lives his life as if he’s walking on eggshells: Doing everything carefully to avoid doing something that’s not aligned with the group.
The strongest evidence to this freedom is observed in the behavior of the alpha male in comparison to the beta. The former is relaxed and occupies considerable space, while the other maintains a low profile in every possible action. It looks terrible and feels so even more. It’s no fun being a beta.
- Business Opportunities. The many possibilities for alpha don’t end in choosing a woman. When people feel that the man standing in front of them is strong, stable and responsible – they feel comfortable doing business with him. Alpha is a sign of a person with discipline and integrity, the kind of people everyone wants to work with.
Therefore don’t be surprised if you see a correlation between dominant, impressive men and business successes they’re “lucky” to find all the time.
- Responsibility. It may sound like a disadvantage, or an advantage that doesn’t concern you and contributes to the environment only. But the truth is that responsibility is not only the quality that’ll help you the most to make the transition from beta to alpha, but also the quality that’ll make your life more successful and orderly.
You see, irresponsible people don’t succeed in this world. Back then and nowadays, the ability to pull ourselves together with discipline, is our driving force to pursue things greater than food, sleep and sex. Responsibility will take you up, and make sure you stay there.
Of course, all these benefits have a certain price. Alpha’s central role in the group is to take care of everyone, to ensure that the group remains intact and safe, to maintain his status, and so on. The good news is that it’s not that difficult after you’ve reached an alpha position.
But I Like Who I Am Now
You have to understand the difference between your preferences as a person and your personality.
Preferences are the parts of you that are irrelevant to your social status. For example, it doesn’t matter at all if you are a Barcelona or Real-Madrid fan, listen to metal or classical music, prefer crime series or anime – you can be a beta male at the bottom of the social hierarchy, or an alpha that everyone wants to be like.
Personality, on the other hand, is all that matters to your social status. If you’re very shy, unsocial or have no ambitions – you’re less alpha material. It’s important to remember this distinction. A lot of men believe that they will become a different person in essence – and that’s total nonsense.
You Remain Yourself – More Than Ever
In order to remove your concern and confirm the claim that you’ll indeed be “the same person”, I searched the web for testimonies of people who “lost their identity / self” in the process of becoming a more dominant and attractive man – I couldn’t find anything.
Do you know what I did find? Extensive evidence of “reconnecting with who you are”, especially with your masculinity. It seems that men feel much clearer about who they are, what their essence is as a man in society. Not a single word about loss of identity – only the opposite.
It’s also quite logical, think about the following question: Who’s more authentic to himself – a man who tries to hide his love for anime, or a man who speaks with complete openness and shares with everyone why anime is so great? Of course the latter. Changing consciousness from beta to alpha requires openness and communication with your environment, from a place of confidence in who you are and what you love.
Being an alpha male only reinforces your character! This is the exact opposite of change and loss of identity. Therefore, you have nothing to worry about. Not only will you remain who you really are, you’ll express and grow this ‘self’ more than ever.
How Do I Remain an Alpha Male?
If there’s one tip I can give you, it will be to leave your comfort zone often. As I said, staying alpha after you’ve left the feminine matrix that was pumped to you in childhood isn’t hard work (have you read the article about it?).
Still, we as human beings always look for the path with the least resistance. The most convenient way. Remember the children’s story about the turtle and the rabbit? Many men start out like the rabbit – they go far, raise their status and their attitude changes accordingly. Life begins to shine on them because, well, they are alpha – people benefit from being around them.
The problem begins when arrogance starts to play a role, and men take their status for granted. The concern for the group’s integrity and the welfare of its members becomes negligible to them, and they belittle the high status they received from the group (imagine a mayor who’s convinced that he’ll be elected in the next elections – how much effort will he put for the city?).
Meanwhile, other men want the alpha status in the group and make efforts to take your place. They are the turtle in the story. The moral is to maintain a constant routine of growth, development and progress. In what? In any field that’s relevant to you. Do not settle for what you’ve achieved – aim higher. There’s always a way forward, especially in a field as fascinating as the subject of this blog.
I, for example, don’t like to call myself an “alpha male”. There’s always something to improve on. If I’m alpha in situation A, I’m not necessarily alpha in situation B. This understanding always requires me to be alert and march forward with my personality. I simply can’t accept the idea that in a certain place, with some people, I may be considered a beta (although, between us? That’s reality of all of us – the trick is to aim for perfection).
When you don’t rest on your laurels and always believe that you need to improve – it will happen. And your status as alpha will not only be preserved, but will also be reinforced.
We began with the question “Can a beta become an alpha?” and I’ve devoted a great deal of text to really convince you that things are in your hands. You can make a huge change and take your life from the mediocrity of the beta to the excellence of the alpha. I also tried to touch on all kinds of “buts” that might arise in your head in order to justify settling in your comfort zone.
Then I continued to mention several key advantages of being an alpha male. I also expanded on the thought of many men that they might become “another person” they won’t like, as part of their growth process. This is not only nonsense, but reality shows exactly the opposite: When men go on this journey, they rediscover themselves, and feel much more connected what they love and their preferences, as well as to their masculinity.
Finally, I gave you a useful approach with which you can be alpha without worrying about losing your status. In fact, you’ll probably even improve and refine your personality since you realize you’re “not there yet”. There’s still much to learn. Stay away from your comfort zone, and you’ll never stop growing.
Make a conscious decision to become an alpha. I and my blog are here to give you all the tools you need in this challenging yet rewarding journey. Just don’t fall for the idea that it’s not under your full control – it definitely is. If you want – you’ll be an alpha. End of story.