Should I Go to the Gym?
Unlike many other topics I discuss in this blog, this is a question I can give you a clear answer to: Yes. It’s definitely worth it. It’s a wonderful investment for your effort, time, and money. I rarely get to meet alpha males who don’t exercise in one way or another. They have excellent reasons to do it. I’m sure that after training becomes a routine for you, you’ll not regret it and never want to stop.
I’m Too Embarrassed to Go to the Gym
Welcome to the blog. One of the first rules in my imaginary book is “Take care of yourself first, then of others”. Why am I telling you this? Because if you are ashamed to do something that will do you so good in life, because of the opinions and views of people, you shoot yourself in the leg big-time. At that moment you allowed the judgment of others hurt you.
There can be many reasons why you are ashamed to work-out in a public place. Most of them usually deal with body image issues. Something along the lines of “I’m too fat to exercise in a public place”. Here are some things that might shake you out of this way of thinking:
- The gym is for everyone. I’ll tell you more than that: it’s designed for the most overweight people with bad body image. Who needs this facility more than them? Fit guys? Those who are confident with their body? These people are already on the healthy spectrum, both in body and mind. If you need to lose weight down to a healthy range – your body needs this facility much more than their If you are ashamed of your body – your mind needs this facility more than their mind. You have full legitimacy (perhaps even more than them) to be there – legally, socially and even in terms of health. Remember that an alpha takes what he deserves. Do not miss this wonderful opportunity because of “what people might think”.
- People in the gym don’t care about you. By the way, I think it’s also true for many areas in life where we are sure we’re being judged, laughed at and that people concentrate on everything wrong that’s with us. The truth is that everyone is busy with their own crap – the way they look, their friends, their phone and the current exercise. The absolute majority, and I dare say that everyone, simply doesn’t care about your presence. Sorry, you’re just not that special. Use it to concentrate on your training and goals – the rest is irrelevant.
- You don’t need a gym to exercise and lose weight. If weight is your problem, you have to eat less calories than you use a day (use a TDEE calculator to estimate the amount). So even without training at all, you will lose weight. After some time, when you feel more confident in yourself (and full of motivation from your progress), you can go to the gym more easily. If the issue is body image, it’s a little different. I would suggest that you perform ground exercises at home. There’s a good chance you will see some improvement, if not in appearance then in performance. But if the problem is emotional, psychological – you may need to see a professional. However, before you tag the issue as clinical, browse the rest of the blog. I am sure you’ll find information of any kind that’s related to masculinity, self-confidence and change of consciousness to a stronger, healthier and more stable mindset.
I hope I’ve been able to tap into your concerns and answer them. But if not, it’s important to remember that your interests, especially those long-term, are crucially important. Much more than a momentary fear which, after your second or third session will evaporate, and you’ll simply laugh at yourself for holding back. Throw yourself into the water, that’s the only way you’ll learn how to swim.
I Don’t Know How to Work-Out and Might Embarrass Myself
Every gym has a supervising trainer to guide you in your first few times there. In fact, I think that most countries enforce it by law.
You don’t like the trainer or he require extra money?
Search YouTube for a video that explains how to perform the exercises.
YouTube is not an option?
You can turn to a person who looks experienced (and sane) to ask him how to use a certain machine. The vast majority of trainees are very nice and whoever you’ll ask will be glad you did (it’s an ego boost, after all).
I wrote the last paragraph carefully, because you might pick people who train dangerously, so it’s always better to ask for another opinion (preferably of a professional trainer), and most of all – to be alert to your body’s signals. The point is that you have plenty of options to learn how to train properly, without embarrassing yourself or, more importantly, getting injured.
And guess what? Even if you train perfectly, people will still come to tell you to fix or better your technique. It just happens to everyone (me included, even after more than 6 consecutive years at the same gym and a B.A. in this field). Listen, smile and continue with what you know best.
I’ll tell you more than that – maybe I’m wrong, and there are assholes in your gym who will do everything you’re afraid of: Laugh at you and point, nastily comment on your technique and whatnot. Be glad: this leads to a much more important workout than any weight training – the training of ignoring the opinions of assholes. Highly recommended and quite underrated.
Will Going to the Gym Make Me More Attractive?
Let’s be precise: Merely going to the gym will not make you attractive – we’ll close this discussion here. If the question is about bodybuilding, fat reduction, increased muscle mass and so on – the answer is yes and no. Mostly not.
True, your body will be more attractive if you adhere, eat well, sleep enough and challenge yourself. There is no doubt about that. A muscular / shredded body, at least nowadays, is considered very attractive. Still, in the entirety of things, it will not drastically change your level of attractiveness.
An impressive body is, in my opinion, only 15% of your total quality as a man women will be attracted to. So yes, maybe you will receive a warmer attitude from women here and there (very culture dependent). But at the end of the day it will not help much in overall attraction if you do not have the qualities that an alpha male does.
It would be like a man who hadn’t studied while at university, cheated on tests, copied ideas and answers – and came to be a professor. People will be impressed at first, but when they start talking to him, they’ll find he’s empty inside. From there the attitude will be something like “Nice titles, but I think I’ll go talk to someone else…”. With women it’s: “Sweet muscles. Is that all?”
Therefore, as much as I strongly recommend you start working-out as soon as possible, remember that looks aren’t everything. Probably not as significant as we, men who biologically sanctify visuals in the opposite sex, make it to be. There are better reasons to exercise than being a little more appealing.
Will Going to the Gym Help Me Sleep?
Looks like working-out does help with sleep. Exercise, especially challenging, can improve the quality of our sleep. This effect has been observed in many studies in many age groups. Even in people diagnosed with insomnia, plus a decrease in their anxiety levels (study).
Good sleep can also increase your testosterone (study), a hormone most of us want more of, especially if you’re into bodybuilding – since testosterone is the hormone with the highest correlation (and causation) to muscle mass and low fat in people.
This is without touching on all the physical and emotional benefits of good sleep per se. Another great reason to exercise regularly.
Will Going to the Gym Make My Life Better?
This is a really difficult question. My initial inclination is to say “yes” – there are so many significant benefits in regular and challenging physical activity. Here is part of all the cons I haven’t had the chance to dive into in this article, in a nutshell:
- Depression reduction. More and more studies are accumulating which point on the strong connection between exercise and happiness, reduced depression and such. Even in people diagnosed with clinical depression (study).
- Meeting new people. Like it or not, you’re going to meet a lot of new people, especially if you work-out in a public facility. It’s a great opportunity to expand your social connections. Something every alpha needs to some degree. Sometimes at the gym, especially on busy days, you can hardly avoid simple conversations that sometimes develop into friendships.
- Familiarity with your body. This is really important in my opinion. Most people don’t know their body well enough. No understanding of their muscles, tendons, bones, nerves, etc. Exercising, especially in a gym, will require you to know, at least superficially, your anatomy. What’s more important is the ability to listen to your body: the pain, challenges. To know your (real) limitations and go beyond them.
- More testosterone. Although training has the potential to improve your sleep quality, which in turn will boost your testosterone – I’m not even talking about that. Lifting heavy weights encourages some increase in the primary male hormone. This has mostly beneficial implications on your mood and health.
- Better self-image. Assuming you do not have any psychological barrier, looking at how your body gets stronger and toned every day is a powerful boost to your self-image. This is not just simple logic, but a real effect that has been examined empirically (study).
- Health Promotion. Beyond the obvious fact that physical activity is healthy for us in countless ways (and more are discovered as time goes on), let’s be honest: When you work-out – you expect results. If they are aren’t (or stop) coming, you start thinking what you’re doing wrong. Both the Internet and those who train at the gym will tell you, way too often, that most of your growth is from the kitchen. Almost every trainee of one year or more makes sure to eat all the food groups. Although the majority do this to see more results in their training, health is improving as a side effect.
- Life Expectancy. Regular exercise can extend your life by 7 years. So if your life’s that healthy to begin with, why not live a little longer?
I can go on much, much more. Believe me. But I want to return to your question. Yes, it seems that your life will be better, but as in every area of life – there’s no promise.
If you have a specific issue, financial, psychological or someone else, that prevents you from responding to the positive changes that will happen in your life by exercising – you must consider this and evaluate your expectations.
A person with severe depression may not appreciate all the good changes that exercise does to him (while exercise definitely improves depression – sometimes it’s just not enough), just like how winning the lottery won’t help him that much, emotionally.
In addition, I’m cautious not to say in a definite manner that your life will be better. Because, who knows, maybe you will injure yourself during training? If you’re a careful guy, chances are low. But it’s important for me you to take things in proportion, as much as many people, including me, praise the idea of working-out.
Before continuing, I took into account the possibility that you are ashamed to go to the gym, and I offered you numerous solutions and advices for all sorts of reasons you don’t feel comfortable to go and lift iron in a public place.
Then, I tried to touch a more general, important point of your shame: At the gym you may train on muscles, but more importantly – you will also train on not giving a **** about assholes.
Because with all due respect, and I do have empathy for you (since you want to get better and be more than you are – which is why you’re reading this now), I must say: If a little offensiveness from strangers shakes you off your emotional balance, you are not ready for this life in general. Take this sentence in the most positive way possible. Just remember that this is true. And training at a gym is a wonderful way (like most human interactions) to ditch this thought pattern.
I’ve touched on how much more attractive working-out will truly make you, and the conclusion is that they do give you some boost (especially before or at the beginning of the interaction), but it’s a relatively small percentage of your entire attractiveness profile. A person who’s not attractive in character will not change the attitude of girls to him significantly just because he has lowered his body fat percentage or increased his muscle mass.
Then we dealt with what training at a gym (and exercise of any kind) can do for your sleep, feeling and quality of life. As someone who’s relatively well-read in this field and interested in the research, sometimes it seems to me that there’s no area of life that physical activity does not improve. It’s completely ridiculous (especially for a person who tries to be as realistic as possible) and yet, the claims are backed up pretty well in the scientific literature. It’s very real.
That’s why my conclusion at the beginning of the article is so definite: Yes. You totally want this in your life. I’m sure you know a lot of “sports fanatics” who appear to be addicted to exercising. And the truth is that you will be quite right in this assessment. There’s an addictive component in physical activity, and beauty is that it we’re talking about an addiction that only does you good. It’s the kind of addictive drug you really, really should try.