6 Ways in Which Women Use Men – and How to Avoid Them
The world of men is awakening to realize that women aren’t the little angels we were taught to think they are. With the advance of modernity and the Internet, men can communicate more with one another and learn about exploitative behavior patterns of women.
The alpha male must know the ways in which women will try to take advantage of him – both emotionally and financially. In this article I want to present the most common ways they do it and how to defend yourself.
1. Free Food
Women really love food. Obsessive, if judged by their posts and statements on the web. Too bad a lot of them rely on men to feed them for free, giving nothing in return but their mere presence. The irony is that we see more and more sarcastic and classy posts about how food is so much better than men.
Women take advantage of the convention that the man is supposed to pay for the girl. With some couples it happens only on the first dates, and with some the exploitative behavior continues on to the relationship.
- First dates. The classic way to get wonderful meals, with no expectations of her to sleep with the guy who buys them. Although a huge percentage of men going on a date are looking for a girlfriend, and not just some fun for the night – yet they do expect it, especially after a big expense like a restaurant for the third time they go out.
Of course I don’t say that a woman must jump to bed with a guy just because he bought her a meal. She’s her own master. But the problem begins when women abuse this power. Tempting a man to think he’ll “get some” if he’ll give her the treatment she expects for (meals, gifts, movies, escape rooms… simply Wine & Dine for at least two or three dates), while she knows well that she isn’t attracted and won’t sleep with him, even if it was her last egg.
Men fall into this ugly trap often, especially the unattractive ones. The very idea that a girl agrees to go on a date with them sounds like an amazing privilege, and they agree to continue the lavish dates even for decades!
The girl enjoys the best restaurants and cafes free of charge, while the man expects to receive additional value besides her presence. Women understand this power-balance and some exploit innocent men down to the last dollar.
- Relationship. Depending on where you live in the world, it’s expected of a man to pay for his girlfriend between 20% of the time and 100% of the time. In most of the modern Western world things are somewhere in the 60% range. That’s why people say that a girlfriend is a costly deal.
In most relationships the deal is simple: You buy her things and take her out to eat – and in return she gives you her body. The main problem with this transaction is that it’s asymmetrical: You don’t get a direct reward from buying her things – and on the other hand, sleeping with you is fun for her (at-least should be). The thought that women don’t enjoy sex is wrong. In fact, I think it has been proven that they enjoy it twice as much as men.
Therefore, the common deal in relationships today is exploitative towards the man. And this is without even talking about relationships in which there’s no action in bed at all. You read it right. This can happen in certain religious circles or in relationships where the man is extremely beta and the girl has found action from an outside source (another man) – while she still has her beta that pays for her dinners. As they say: “Alpha f****, beta bucks”.
How to Avoid
When dating, never take girls to a prestigious place. Preferably, even, to a place that doesn’t require any payment at all. And it’s important that they’ll know about it before the date.
Wait a minute, but doesn’t that mean girls will run away from dating you? Yes. But not all of them. You create a necessary filter of exploiters. As long as you make the date fun and show that you’re a dominant, attractive man – the girl will want to go on another date and she’ll make an effort to maintain this relationship. Anyone who isn’t interested – is either an exploiter, or that you’re not to her taste. This way you save yourself money, and over time – you will save quite a large sum.
As a man who’s in a relationship, you want to settle for a stable ratio by which you decide whether to pay for her or not. Without stating this to her, of course. Keep it to yourself.
As you probably know me from the rest of the blog, you’d expect me to tell you to pay whenever you feel like it. And this is indeed an excellent advice – but I fear that you (as most men) will rationalize why you actually do want to pay. Women are very talented in influencing your “true will”. So I think it’s better for you to set a reasonable payment ratio in advance. One that you can meet financially, and you won’t feel like a sucker either.
By the way, if you’re curious about the relationship with my girlfriend – I’m somewhere around the 25% mark, which means I pay for about a quarter of our dates.
You might be wondering, “Why not go with 0%?”. I’ll tell you that it’s possible, but women really need to feel they have a patron – someone they’re “owned by” who cares for their needs. If you split the bill regularly, and she totally agrees and likes the idea – you don’t psychologically establish the understanding in her mind that you are the strong man in her life. You seem more like one of her girlfriends or guy-friends who never pay for her (and not seen as attractive). Remember that you’re not a sucker, but still her man.
The ratio between men and women with a driver’s license is usually the same in the Western world. Recently, in the United States, the number of women with a driver’s license has exceeded the number of men (statistics). Despite that, men’s driving time is still significantly higher than that of women. Women, therefore, probably don’t like to drive as much as men. This distaste is manifested in career choices (drivers tend to be men).
Everything’s all nice and well, until there’s a need to get from one point to another. Women’s unwillingness to deal with parking, being sober, paying for gas and even buying a car – sometimes leads them to use those who are willing to do it: men.
Obviously, no man likes being a girl’s limousine driver for free – they want something in return. Just like in the part about dating above, women know that men desperately hope to sleep with them, so they take advantage of this desire.
Notice if this sounds like a familiar situation to you: A girl suddenly calls you and asks you drive her somewhere, lightly hinting that you won’t regret doing that. Well, most men definitely regret it. A small portion of them learn a lesson for the future, while the majority are angry at this particular girl who loves bad boys and doesn’t appreciate a nice guy when she sees one.
How to Avoid
It’s quite simple: Don’t agree to drive a girl in anticipation of getting some. It never happens. If the girl is, in fact, attracted to you, she would’ve slept with you a long ago – no conditions, no requests, no demands. You’re simply attractive and interested.
You want to get out of the wrong perspective that being a “nice guy” (in the extreme sense of the word) will make girls like you. The opposite is correct: girls exploit and walk all over men who don’t demonstrate high self-confidence and dominance.
Now, of course I don’t say you should be completely inconsiderate and never drive (or help in general) any woman who asks you – because there are probably women you care about: your mother, sister, sister-in-law, friends and girlfriends of close friends. The point is not to help and drive out of an expectation for reward, but out of love and appreciation, to maintain healthy (and important) relationships.
After all, if a guy you barely know calls you out of nowhere and asks you to drive him somewhere (and even hint that you might get money), you will probably reply one of the following:
- “Speak clearly. How much will you pay me for it?”
- “Dude, I barely know you. Bye”
When it comes to girls, as long as you don’t intend on asking “For how many minutes will you go down on me?” – Your only logical option is to refuse.
3. Compliment Fishing
This is the least terrible kind of exploitation, because it doesn’t really hurt men. But I think you should know how women use the niceness of men here as well, for their emotional purposes. You will better understand the way women think today, which is always a good idea for a man who wants to be stronger, dominant and attractive.
What’s the Source of Women’s Need for Approval?
Most girls need compliments regularly to feel good and balanced. They’ve developed a serious dependence on how the environment views them – especially regarding their beauty.
There may be a biological basis for this dependence, but I have no doubt that Western women today are more concentrated in their appearance than ever before. And the main reason for this is simple: Since they contribute less and less to the relationship (a wife who cooks is considered a chauvinist stereotype, as is a wife who dedicates most of her time to take care of the children or the household, etc.), all they have left to do is to be beautiful.
That’s considered okay for now. But wait until the “fat acceptance” kind of movements become even more popular and penetrate society’s consciousness deeper. Wanting a pretty woman will become a shocking, unacceptable demand. We see it already now, to some extent.
Now, when their only focus is external beauty, women face two main problems:
- All their eggs are in one basket. In absence of other options to offer value and be portrayed as a quality woman (such as cooking, being a loving and attentive mother etc.), they hang all their hopes on their beauty.
- Beauty isn’t an empirical parameter. So they’re always concerned about what’s considered “beautiful” and the opinion of their environment becomes critical.
Psychologically, such centralization is a bad idea for emotional stability. Especially when it comes to a volatile stock that’s slowly dropping, like beauty. Hence women’s great need to receive positive feedback on how beautiful they are, very often and from as many people as possible. Do you begin to see why they’re way more active on social media than men?
How Do Girls Fish for Compliments?
The easiest technique is to demonstrate a “moment of weakness”. How many times have you heard a girl say with frustration: “I’m not pretty” / “I don’t feel attractive” / “I’m only cute, nothing more”. And you or men around her were quick to lift her spirit immediately with pathetic statements: “No! You’re stunning!” / “Don’t say that, it’s not true – you’re amazing!” and so on.
Full disclosure: She knows that this will be the automatic response. So she takes advantage of men’s need to be white knights who save her from her insecurities.
How to Avoid
True, a man has no real harm from jumping through a girl’s hoop, but an alpha male would never do it. It’s a bit humiliating, and puts you in the same category with other men – which means you’re not special to her. Another cute beta male who plays by her rules.
So how should you respond? I like to ask her why she thinks so. Usually her response is “I’m just not that pretty… girl X is way more beautiful than me”, when usually “girl X” is a friend she hates or who’s a serious threat to her in terms of appearance. She expects, of course, to hear how you dis the other girl and glorify her. I just like to say nothing at this point, and to see her get confused by the silence that has been created. Usually she’ll also try to exaggeratedly flatter the other girl with (“She can be a top model…”), in order to make you protest. It’s really amusing to see her baffled from your lack of cooperation.
Also, if I know the girl well enough to tell that she isn’t in a real emotional breakdown, I will start complimenting this other girl, too. And the face they make? Oh, it’s a great sight.
4. “Unexpected” Pregnancy
The law in most Western countries doesn’t allow a man to disengage completely from a child who belongs to him. He must function as a father in every way, or pay child support. Doesn’t matter if he wants the woman to have an abortion or even if he couldn’t prevent the pregnancy. Terrible women take advantage of this loophole in the law and try to get pregnant in different ways:
- Poking a hole in condoms.
- Lie about taking the pill regularly.
- Theft of sperm after things are done.
This extremely ugly act is usually done by older women (after the age of 30) who feel they will never be able to find a quality, rich partner who’ll choose to have a child with them. Thus, men find themselves enslaved for 18 years supporting a child they never wanted.
How to Avoid
Unless this is a girl you plan to get pregnant soon, you must remember the following rules:
- A condom is a must. Always.
- Only use condoms that you’ve bought, and that she had no access to without your supervision.
- Never believe she’s on the pill. Even if you see them on her night stand – there’s no guarantee that she takes them regularly.
- You’re the only one who throws the condom into the trash.
- If you really want to finish on special spots, you will have to clean her immediately after.
- Don’t be shy to take any precautions.
Most women will look negatively on this “too careful” behavior, but it shouldn’t bother you. Your life is way too precious to throw in the garbage by acting recklessly with the wrong woman. Always remember that it’s better for you to lose action in bed than to regret a mistake for a lifetime.
Exploitation that’s done only by single mothers, obviously. Most single mothers have a very hard time raising children optimally. It starts with a lack of money, then it’s less time with the children because of the need to work more hours – a bad sign for their education. This is without even mentioning the positive influence that a father figure can make in the children’s lives.
So it’s not surprising that single mothers seek a man who will play the father’s role in this family. If you don’t understand why it’s exploiting the man and wondering what can go wrong, here are some reasonable cases:
- Immediate financial pressure. Almost always, a single mother needs a man for financial reasons, more than anything else. While in a normal relationship the man has the pressure of supporting and maintaining the household, this is doubly true when it comes to an entire family – to which a man suddenly enters and carries this burden.
Even if you want to own a home with a lot of children, eventually, it’s a gradual situation. A young couple that slowly becomes a family of 3, 4, 5 and so on. You think I’m exaggerating? Ask young couples who’ve had twins how a financially unpleasant surprise that was. I also know two families where triplets were born – a serious blow to the wallet.
It’s easy to see now why suddenly becoming the man of such a house (which probably doesn’t have any savings, if not debts) is unwise.
- Greater attachment. A man has much more to lose emotionally if the relationship fails, and he got emotionally attached to the children. The situation becomes even worse for the children, who in many cases feel they have lost a father figure (again!), especially if they were a couple for a long time.
Why assume that a separation will happen? Because both a second marriage and the multiplicity of intimate partners from the woman’s past raise the chances of divorce drastically.
- No real authority. In theory it’s nice to think that a man who enters a family with children will, over time, have the status of stepfather and the honor he expects as the man in the house. The truth is that children who urgently need some discipline (not uncommon in families with single mothers) won’t easily accept external authority. Certainly not if the mother always protects them from you, the outsider. After all, you’re not their father. Which brings me to the next problem.
- The man isn’t family. Mother-child relationship is usually very strong. If you think an outside man can just come in, make changes and educate the children, smart as he may be – you’re wrong. It may be a matter of blood relation. There will always be greater love and appreciation among the “original” family members.
A man who enters a family is often considered not as family but as a provider, supporter, assistant, maintenance man, private driver, etc. Not really a good place to be in, nor the kind of attitude he expects as the man of the house.
Certainly not every home is like that, and there are exceptions and things worked out wonderfully. However, use your common sense and you will see that this is usually a pretty bad deal for a man.
How to Avoid
The trick is not to get attached to such women and their children in the first place. So once you hear that she has a child, it’s time to apologize and walk away. Don’t provide explanations or excuses and don’t be dragged into a discussion on the subject. Such women need a man and some will say anything to attract one who will help them in their difficult life.
Let’s face it: the law isn’t in favor of men in the world of marriage nowadays. The law isn’t even neutral. Marriage in itself isn’t necessarily bad – the divorce that follows is the real danger. Here are some of the main problems that the average male divorcee should expect:
- Expenses on lawyers.
- Spousal maintenance (in some countries).
- A very high chance of losing custody of your children and paying alimony.
In the United States, for every two couples who get married, one couple divorces. This means that more than 50% of people who get married will divorce – an alarming situation that only gets worse over the years.
Now think about all the couples who are unhappy, yet stay married “for the children’s sake” or simply because they live in a culture in which divorce is still considered socially unacceptable.
How Do Women Take Advantage of Men Through Marriage?
You must understand something about women and men. A man’s value usually rises as time goes on, until the age of 45-50, and from there goes down slowly. Why? Because on average, we become wiser, more experienced, we make more money etc. Women are attracted to this, as is well known.
Unlike men, the value of women rises drastically from the age of 15 to the age of about 22, stays pretty much the same for 5-10 years, and then plummets. Why? Because they don’t become more beautiful over time. This is called “The Wall”, and from that point in their life their value will probably not go up anymore.
Around the age of 27-32, women begin to feel the mortality of their beauty: The quantity and quality of men who hit on them drops over time. Panic drives them to get a man and make sure he can never leave them. Well, unless he pays a fine for the rest of his life and lose his children.
This is probably one of the reasons why women initiate most divorces – they have nothing to lose. Especially if they find a man who meets their whims better when they were still married.
Divorce, in today’s format, can destroy a man emotionally and financially. The percentage of divorced men who committed suicide is painfully high, and it’s understandable – there’s nothing left for them in life.
How to Avoid
The safest way of course is to not get married at all. This way you give yourself 100% confidence not to fall for this trap. But if you’re still reading, then you’re probably wondering “How can I marry a good girl?” / “How do I mitigate my risk of divorce?”. Here are some routes to take:
- Date a virgin. Sorry for the medieval tone, but statistically it’s true: Marriage between a girl and a man who’s her first romantic partner significantly improves the chances of marriage success. It means you want to find a girl who hasn’t slept with any man yet.
How statistically crucial is it? Surprisingly – very much. It’s being tested every year since the 1980s, and results continue to be consistent: About 90-95 percent success for marriage of such couples – amazing!
Now, how easy it will be for you to find a virgin, especially if you’re not a religious guy? Hmm… That’s another question.
- Similar financial status. You want to date a girl who’s not much poorer than you. The logic is simple: less interest in your assets. If she comes from a home that resembles your socioeconomic status and earns a similar salary, the chances of her seeing you as a walking wallet are lower.
- Date a less material girl. Look for a girl who isn’t constantly preoccupied with material things. How do you recognize one? It’s not hard: If she constantly expects jewelry, fancy presents and such from you, or expects you to pay for her all the time – things will probably get worse when you two are married.
Small requests will become bigger and bigger (a newer car, a bigger house, etc.) and completely unrealistic to your financial situation.
Watch out for these women. Look for women who find real pleasure in your time together without any material stimulation. Such as walking together, reading together, talking about random stuff all night long, and so on.
- Sign a prenuptial agreement. A signed agreement between you and your future wife. It should be recognized by the state, and concern the ownership of your respective assets if the marriage fails.
Simply put, with this agreement, you both declare in advance how to divide your money and other assets in a way that’s fair for you both.
Of course, each state has its own procedures on the subject – there are restrictions on the content of the document and even on its actual validity when divorcing. Still, you definitely want to set these conditions before the wedding. This is an agreement that can really save you at the moment of truth.
A bonus advantage is that many girls will attack the very idea of signing on a financial arrangement for a case of separation. Great way to filter girls out and escape relationships that are a ticking time bomb, before it’s too late.
- Stay alpha. Just like how women get fat and let themselves go after some time into marriage, men allow themselves to become a wimpy beta – mentally, most of all.
If you don’t remain a strong, dominant and charismatic man in your woman’s eyes, don’t be surprised if she ceases to be attracted to you, starts fights and seeks out a way out of the marriage. Just as you don’t want to be with an unattractive woman, neither does she want a doormat as a husband.
And really, with all the information we have today on the web (including this blog) and the endless opportunities to hone your social skills, staying alpha is pretty easy. Forget the marriage for a moment – you’ll just feel better as a man. That’s a good-enough reason by itself.
If you decide that you do want to get married and have a household with a woman, I strongly advise you to internalize these things. Getting married is a dangerous gamble nowadays, there’s no other way to put it. You have some control over the outcome of the marriage, but in many areas your hands are completely tied. Choose your girl with extreme carefulness. Keep a real alpha male persona – and your chances of success will increase greatly.
Not Every Woman Is an Exploiter
Finally, it’s important to note that the ugly behaviors I’ve presented here aren’t part of women nature. True, female biology makes them attracted to men with resources and power, but the choice to hurt and destroy lives is that of the woman – and of course influenced by the way she was raised and educated.
In other words, not every girl is like that. However, many girls do behave like this, and you want to avoid them completely.
I write these lines for two reasons:
- So it won’t be understood that I hate women or think they’re all bad.
- So you won’t hate women and think they’re all bad.
There are almost no absolute extremes in our world, don’t be tempted to think that women are a special case. There are bad ones and there are good ones. And a man would have to go through (even better: filter) a lot of crap until he’ll find a good girl who wouldn’t cynically use him.
My goal in writing this article was to introduce you to exploitative behaviors of women that no one openly talks about. Unfortunately, there’s still a certain aura of absolute purity around women – and the bitter truth is that they are all real people with real faults.
I’ve presented to you the ways and tricks in which women use men. From the most trivial things such as fishing for compliments, through more annoying things such as requests for free drives or paying for their meals, to the most despicable acts such as stealing sperm and getting pregnant without the man’s consent. For each kind of exploitation method I’ve offered you solutions and ways to avoid falling for it.
In conclusion, I made it very clear that one shouldn’t think that this is “feminine” behavior. In most cases it’s simply human behavior in a state of social privilege. There are so many women who feel they’re allowed to do everything, to anyone. And they are the ones you want to get away from. Certainly not from every girl. Caution is the key, not extremism.
I hope I gave you a glimpse of the dirty side of women, and that I’ve equipped you with understanding and tools to help you avoid these situations. Take care of yourself, man. An alpha male doesn’t fall into traps set by terrible women – and as a reader of this blog, you too won’t fall.