Why Being an Alpha Male Is Easier than You Think
The life of strong, attractive men are comfortable. An alpha male should never prove anything to anyone. You will never have to walk on eggshells in a certain environment and adjust yourself (as a weak beta would). He is who he is, and that settles it. That’s what gives his life solidity and certainty. He’s an anchor. Therefore, among other things, this person is so attractive. The attraction brings with it some other benefits: social / political power, beautiful women, business readiness from other people, and the list goes on.
Becoming an Alpha Male Is Difficult
I admit that the title of this article may be misleading. Yet it’s perfectly correct. Being an alpha man is very easy. Living this life, cultivating it, playing the part of the alpha is not difficult – when you are already there. The transition from a beta male to a real alpha male is the challenge. That’s what this blog is about (if this whole deal was easy, you wouldn’t be here).
To illustrate, let’s say you went with friends to the beach on a cool day. How hard is it to stay in the water? More or less 1 – 2 on the difficulty scale. And since it’s also fun, this deal is worthwhile. So won’t everyone come in? Because they are not willing to pay the momentary price. The difficulty of moving from the pleasant and comfortable – the beach, to the chilly (but also fun) – the water.
In this metaphor lies a whole theory of motivational speeches for businesses, interpersonal relationships and personal development. Here I touch the last one. When you decide to go through the difficulty, through this period of change – you go into the cold water for the first time. But once you’re inside, you won’t feel like coming out. That’s why it’s important for me to talk about the difficulty of becoming an alpha male, but definitely not being one. When you’ll pass the transformation into a more responsible, intelligent and stronger person – you’ll never want to go back.
Proof that Being Alpha Is Indeed Easy
That’s a big statement, I know. But I stand behind it and will prove to you: Try to remember a man who is definitely alpha. If you’re not sure who to think about, an easy way is to simply think of someone you would happily exchange lives with. Or that at least you envy him in certain areas of life. Do you have someone? Great. How hard is it for him to maintain this awesome persona, in your opinion? How much effort is he investing to do and say the right thing at the right moment? Probably close to zero. If he was working hard to hold onto a persona that was considered “attractive” – he would not be attractive.
When actions feel (to us and to our environment) unnatural and forced – we don’t buy it. It’s not congruent to the person. What would you say about a beta man who seldom blurts out statements or shows behavior of an alpha man? You probably wouldn’t think it significant. Why?
- It’s not part of the person’s set of behaviors. And that’s what determines his status in the long term.
- It’s almost certain that this “alpha” behavior will be very fake, inauthentic. People (especially women) feel this with surprising sharpness.
When you’re truly in the alpha mindset, things are easier. I’d even say that it’s easier than being a beta male. We like to think of the alpha male as someone who works hard to maintain his class and fights all competitors to be at the top of the social hierarchy. Maybe because we enjoy the thought that what’s “out there” isn’t so good anyways. The truth is that when you have (or achieve) the qualities of an alpha male, it becomes not only easy, but a pleasure. You synchronize with the idea of preservation and cultivation of your status, and soon you start enjoying this (if the idea of enjoying competition sounds crazy to you, remember that a noncompetitive business will never succeed).
Your New Superpower
Because of your engagement with the company around, you become much more socially aware – a superpower that is almost exclusively in the hands of women. You have the opportunity to obtain it and view the world in another crucial level.
The very dealing with interpersonal relationships, thoughts and feelings of individuals in the group, social situations – creates an appetite for this world. Why do women love to talk and gossip so much? Because they “read” far more frequencies than the average man, so their experience is wider and they enjoy a conversation more.
An alpha male is, without exception, a social person. He’s not like that because he must be, but because he wants to. He enjoys it, and this is the main cause of the positive energy projected from such a man in every social situation. This is a very important and necessary point for you to understand:
Imagine that you are sitting in the living room with several people. They are divided into two discussion groups – one talking about cosmetics and grooming, while the other about video games. I assume with caution that the first group’s discussion isn’t very appealing to you, but the second one is. At least more than the first with the cosmetics. Even if I wasn’t exactly accurate about what is boring or interesting to you – the point is that you will be excited to talk about a subject you are familiar with.
Obviously, this is not a big discovery. But what if you are now familiar with topics such as “conversation”, “human relations”, “social hierarchy”? Suddenly every conversation becomes interesting and fun – not because of the subject at hand, but because people are involved in it.
You become a person who enjoys the mere presence of people, responds to it with increased energy and is happy just by the fact that there are people and interactions. This makes you an addictive person. You must know someone who, as soon as he enters the room, no matter how boring it was, will suddenly make everything more fun. His presence creates a spark in everyone and he cannot be ignored. He’s a magnet.
This is a simple example of how the transition to alpha thinking and behavior is not simple. It requires patience, practice, mistaking and learning. But when you are already there and you have the skill – things become easier and more fun than before.
Is Staying an Alpha Male Difficult?
In any hierarchical society there will be an opposition to the coalition, that is, a group that opposes the “reign” of the alpha male and does not agree with most of the group. In the context of the alpha male, he may find himself in conflict with a group that, because of a thousand reasons, doesn’t like him and wants to undermine his status in this group. To the joy of the human alpha, in the 21st century we live in a society more gentle than ever. People will not rush to challenge a male who receives this status. Thus making it simple to maintain the status. I never knew an alpha male who went down to beta in their group. However, this still doesn’t mean that there’s no trace of counter-behaviors.
Attempts to Undermine Your Status as an Alpha
Since our society condemns violence and aggressive behavior, it has become very difficult for opponents to rise up and challenge the alpha male officially. Therefore, human society has invented alternative ways to undermine the status and authority of other people without saying it outright.
Gossip is probably the most common way. You will discover, as an alpha, how much people are talking about you behind your back. This may sound unpleasant, but it’s a very good sign for two reasons:
- It means you are a hot topic. People care what you did, what you said and where you went. Just like celebrities. High status attracts attention which attracts gossip.
- People don’t talk about a beta behind his back as much. He doesn’t hold a threat to no one and is often criticized upfront. At best it’s just joke at his own expense, half-jokingly – half-seriously.
For an alpha male it’s not really like that. How many people would throw an offensive slur at the prime minister if they had an opportunity to sit with him in the same group? Not many. It is inappropriate and unfitting for his status – and people, even if they oppose his political agenda completely, feel this and therefore avoid such behavior because of the respect expected to give the leader.
Another way people use is a different approach than harming the good name of the alpha. People who want to replace the current alpha, but cannot become one themselves, will find another possible candidate in the group and stick to him. When they do that, it becomes like democratic elections. When the majority elects and chooses you as an alpha male, a new faction may rise and give this honor to another man in the group (to be more sure that this is indeed the case, one can notice whether there has been some hostility in the relationship between the alpha and the party that promotes the new candidate). This is a less “dirty” way to make a revolution in leadership.
Regarding both of the above methods, there is not much to worry about. Replacing an alpha is not a simple process for any group. If a group chooses an alpha man, it means that they trust him, love him (most of them) and see him as a model of admiration. As long as you, being an alpha man, continue to function as such on the social level, you should be fine – and there’s nothing to be alarmed at by some attempts to undermine your status. In fact – a man who breaks down over some gossip or competition, is not really an alpha now, is he?
Remaining an Alpha on the Personal Level
Life is dynamic and changing at a dizzying pace. In recent years more than ever. Since the Industrial Revolution, human comfortability in life went up remarkably. We can learn something from this: people will always look for the shortest and most convenient solution.
People are lazy, period. And I’m not saying this in a bad way – laziness is the quality that has driven us to grow immeasurably over the last hundred years. As Microsoft’s founder Bill Gates said:
“I choose a lazy person to do a hard job, because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it.”
But this idleness can be an obstacle for an alpha who wants to stay in this awesome status. Laziness simply does not coincide with the 5 attributes of an alpha male. I think that if a person is always looking for the easy way to do things – he will cut corners, he will find bad solutions that only meet the momentary need.
You are sure to know such people that their comfort comes before higher values (like sleeping for another half an hour and being late for a meeting). Such people do not receive the crown of leadership in the society in which they live. You can’t trust them completely because they have preferences other than the general good of the group.
I saw it in myself. I have a tendency to laziness, like most people. After I had undergone a major transformation in my life, I entered a state of comfort and laziness because I had reached achievements I had not expected. Guess what? Very quickly, the attitude and sympathy from friends and girls was gone. Why? Because I stopped there. I didn’t bother to help the people around me with my communication abilities. I was too lethargic to bother making interesting conversations, because in my mind the thought of “I have it already – I am there”. And it hit me. So I hurried back to track: Learning more, applying more. And the most important thing was to spend energy and attention on the people around me, and in the situations I’m in. Just like going to the gym – it’s not always easy but I never regret when I do. I got the slap I needed and got back in game immediately.
The last paragraph might create the opposite impression of the article’s title. But I still say clearly: Being an alpha is easy. It may seem like you have to invest energy all the time to hold your status. But the truth is that it’s very similar to the water metaphor from earlier: It’s natural not to be in a “social state” at any given moment, especially after you’ve been alone for many hours. But you have to make that little effort – throw a word, say hello, ask what’s up with the person in front of you. From there you are already in the water without noticing. And it feels great.
Being an alpha male, as you have seen, is one of the easiest things you will do with the tremendous value this status provides. I want to believe that even if you’re in the beginning or are already in a socially strong position, you’ll benefit from the things I’ve shared with you here. Whether it means getting motivated and being more serious about changing and realizing that your goal is stable and easy to maintain, or whether it means maintaining the status quo when you become an attractive, strong and dominant man.