Why Do Women Want an Alpha Male?
We’ve all seen in the course of our life how women see certain men in a different light. Give them “special treatment” – the kind that any man would want to have from a beautiful woman. The reason it happens is such: a strong man (in every sense) provides security for the girl. On her biological level, she feels safe having offspring with him because they will be safe, smart and strong to find a partner themselves. And so she has successfully spread her genes. It’s actually the entire biological explanation in a nutshell. From here on, things start to become more complex (and interesting) – when our society isn’t primitive, and the characteristics of the alpha male are expressed in more subtle ways. In this article I review the alpha from three points of view: of himself, of other men and of women.
The Meaning of Alpha Male
It took me a while to think of a word that represents the essence of a strong man, one that other men admire and women want to be with all the time. I think I have it: responsibility. The human alpha male is necessarily a responsible man.
To Be a Bad Boy
One can argue against my claim about responsibility. There are strong men in the world who don’t care about anyone but themselves (big overlap with criminals) – and women, for example, become very attracted and want to be close to them.
But it doesn’t end here. Many of those women, usually the older ones, are very wary of such men because they know that as much as it turns them on – it’s not a suitable partner, and not a man who’s responsible enough to raise and teach their potential children how to become men themselves. He’ll probably be busy chasing new young women, and it’s doubtful that these kids will really have a father.
This, by the way, is the type of men that women run to when they are in a failed marriage, with a husband who doesn’t function as the man in the house (or at least when the woman feels that way). It’s convenient – there’s some “partner” at home and the children grow up with security, factually. The biological emotion, on the other hand, does not change over the course of life and some facts do not concern it. The woman wants to feel that there is a strong man with her, and she finds temporary comfort in such people.
Can you be a “bad boy” and attract beautiful women? Yes, absolutely. Still, I wouldn’t go this way myself, because you’re putting yourself at some risk. Irresponsible behavior brings trouble, in every area. And when it comes to the sensitive realm of women and men, I’d advise you to be twice as careful.
Law and human emotion are very strict in these matters. If you hurt someone, even just by a disgusting approach, don’t be surprised if she ever uses the law or brother to hurt you.
Another reason why I would avoid the bad boy approach is that it’s just… bad, ugly. This is not the world I want to live in, and I believe that neither do you. Also, in my book, an alpha man should be a person who does good to his environment in the long run.
Responsibility Lead to Alpha
When you decide to take life to your own hands, your entire attitude and behavior changes. You stop blaming others and start looking for solutions to every problem. This is one of the reasons that the lives of alpha males are better (subjective, I know. But hey – if you read this, you probably already agree). It’s not just that society goes like “he’s alpha, so he deserves it”. This kind of man changes and carves his life the way he wants.
Those who are busy blaming family, friends, their children, the rich, the government or God for their difficulties and problems will never take an active step to fix them, and his life will continue to be as it is, if not in decline.
Therefore, I think the essence of an alpha man is responsibility. This can be personal, social, moral, and more. As long as he takes things into his own hands, without excuses or evasions, and does what he can to make things good for him and for his environment – this is responsibility.
These are the men who will have success in life, be sure of it. They will get the money, honor and self-satisfaction, at the end of the day.
If so, is it any wonder that women stick to such men like a bee to a flower? The full meaning of alpha male is way more than this, of course. Yet I wanted to give you a perception of the significant values of such a man, in one word.
Consider reading on the 5 qualities of the alpha male to get a more comprehensive and in-depth understanding on alpha traits and how to implement them in your own life.
How Men See an Alpha Male
In patriarchal societies in the animal kingdom there’s usually a fairly clear division of the types of males that are, hierarchically, below the alpha male. This can be observed well in gorillas, because they have a similar genetic makeup to ours, and sometimes exhibit similar behavior. When it comes to human beings, there are two main types of men besides the alpha.
Men Who Support You
The first type are the men who accept the authority of the current alpha male. They love him, feel that he cares for them and gives the entire group some major benefits.
They are characterized by a great conformity to the alpha, a very positive attitude towards him, willingness to satisfy his needs, etc. All this is of course to get extra benefits. Flattery, plainly.
A simple example is the constant attempt to hang out specifically with the alpha. Say your friends are arguing about where to go tonight and coming to the conclusion that they’ll just split up – one group will go to the movies and the other to a restaurant. Somehow, the supporting beta men will always prefer what the alpha chose – and in more extreme cases (but oh, how frequent they are) you will notice a sudden change of mind just to be with the man they so admire.
What do they gain from it, you ask? There’s no lack of reasons, here are two common ones:
A. Higher chances to meet beautiful women that the alpha attracts.
B. To follow his behavior and learn the “secret magic”, so that the supporting man will also have success just like him.
You can definitely look at them as the coalition of the group. The alliance of the alpha. Try to identify these men around you (and by doing this you’ll know who your alpha is). Are you one of them? What do you think distinguishes the guy they admire?
Men Who Oppose You
The second type is a bit harder to detect. One might say that they are the more “underground” side of the group. They can be identified by throwing slurs and objections to what the alpha thinks, says, and does. It’s usually done behind the scenes, in a safe subgroup that take sides with the attacks, or at least listen to them in silence.
After some time, a strong-enough negative opinion is formed on the current alpha. Insults, objections and accusations begin to emerge in the open forum of the entire group.
This is the opposition in the group. Okay, I feel like you need an example of this: Imagine that you are the alpha in your group, and you feel some distancing from two people. No matter how much you try and talk to them, fix the situation, understand what happened – you feel there’s nothing to do, they just don’t like you. Very quickly this doesn’t stay just between them and gossip starts doing its thing. People in the group begin to split up from you and from your close friends (your coalition) and create a subgroup, with their own idea of free time, events, inside-jokes and so on. You discover more and more attempts to organize meetings and join your close friends, without you. Just like a boycott. And so a situation has been created where people who haven’t been able to qualify as alpha, have simply taken you out of the equation.
Do not worry, it will not happen to you. As long as you are not as passive as the guy in the story. It is also possible, by the way, that there aren’t men in your group who oppose the alpha at all.
The Group in the Eyes of Women
There’s great importance to a unified society that the alpha can create and preserve. Women tend not to talk about it much, but note that very attractive men are also very communicative and friendly people, with everyone around them.
Throw out the idea of the quiet, lonely, dangerous alpha male. This is not really the image of an alpha in humans – that their communication ability is perhaps the number one tool for which they are rulers of the world.
Women understand, albeit at a subconscious level, that a man with strong interpersonal abilities can unite a group, create harmony among people, and prevent conflicts.
Why do women suddenly care about “love thy neighbor”? Well, that’s a pretty reasonable thinking, really. Remember we talked about women’s need in a safe environment for her offspring? It’s easy to understand, then, how much more convenient and protected it is to raise children and build a family in a strong unified community.
I don’t have a specific spice for the food? There’s that neighbor. Need someone to keep an eye on the children for a few hours? There’s this neighbor. Are barbarians attacking us? We are a united group and we will fight together! Support is the key word here. We are very social creatures and this is expressed in our desire to get together as a group.
A woman loves an alpha man because he’s a person who has the ability (communicative and status-wise) to keep the community as one – despite the difficulties, arguments and problems that happen inside it.
Therefore it’s important that you understand the types of men who are in human society. Learn their desires and actions – and their impact on the group as a whole.
Table of Male Status in the Group
Here’s a small table to make things clearer. I chose characters that illustrate these models from several popular places: The Lion King (a Disney cartoon), Vikings (a History Channel series), Dragon Ball Z (an anime), Spartacus [Season 1] (a Starz series). I believe that with familiarity to these characters and their connections to each other, you’ll understand the social dynamics I talk about.
|Role||Actions||Goal||Relation to alpha||Known examples|
|Alpha||Is the alpha.||Preservation of status, responsibility for group’s well-being.||Asserting dominance, decisiveness, sociability. Attempting to maintain peace and order.||-Mufasa (The Lion King).
-Ragnar Lothbrok (Vikings).
|Supporter||Warm friendship, admiration.||Benefits and learning from the alpha.||Being around the alpha, satisfying his needs.||-Zazu.
|Opponent||Jealousy, disrespect, hate.||Become the group’s alpha, dismiss the current alpha.||Gossiping, forming a subgroup, insulting and blaming the alpha.||-Scar.
How Women See an Alpha Male
Until now I’ve presented many reasons why almost every woman would prefer to be around an alpha and have offspring with him. And yet, there is an interesting twist: In general, girls do not know all this. It’s pretty amazing how they simply go with their emotion, and in hindsight it makes good sense, in overall view.
What Women Say VS. Reality
In context of the fact that many girls, probably a majority, are unaware of the social and biological logic in attraction to alpha males (some haven’t even heard this concept) – don’t be surprised to learn that girls say (conscious action) and feel (unconscious action) something else. Add the fact that women give huge credit to their emotion, preferring to act on it and according to their gut feeling (the fancy name is “feminine intuition”).
Often this behavior of women is perceived as dishonesty, hypocrisy. I fully understand this assumption in men, but try to think about it in depth: the average woman gets education from a small age, that’s pumping to her “Your man should respect you / treat you like a princess / fulfill all your dreams” and many other fairy tales.
In practice, we know that reality isn’t so. A woman who gets this kind of treatment from a man will throw him to The Friend Zone. The most asexual place that exists in her consciousness, and it’s very difficult to get out of there (yet possible). But wait – a lot of women still ask for such treatment! And once they get it – attraction is dead, the man is thrown to The Friend Zone and she’s complaining in social media: “Where have all the good men gone, who’ll treat me like the princess I am?”.
Yes, of course it could be a shit-test (some quality / congruence check for men). But it’s also very possible that women, at least some of them, are not at all sure what to expect from a man. After all, that’s how they were brought up. Just as we were taught to treat them like that.
It doesn’t work for either side, and it’s not easy to get out of this matrix. But the beauty is that once a “real man” arrives, her biology reacts and eliminates all sorts of education and beliefs she had about how a man should be. Even the terminology women use to describe such a man implies big surprise: “sweep me off my feet”.
So I don’t know if they say nonsense to lead men astray or that it comes from true innocence. The truth? It doesn’t matter. The important thing is that you get out of the matrix as soon as possible and carry the woman with you. Regardless of what she says about men, and contrary to what you were taught about women.
But Why an Alpha Male?
Throughout this article, I gave a number of reasons why a woman would prefer an alpha male over her other options. It’s important that I add and consolidate the main explanations:
- A strong person, physically and mentally. The biological meaning is protection and security. If she brings offspring, they not only have a good chance of being as strong and attractive as him, they will also grow up in a protected environment because they belong to him too, and he’ll make efforts to keep them safe.
- Life of abundance. Alpha is more likely to succeed in this life in every respect. No question here. Since he takes responsibility for his life and is not absorbed in complaints and excuses, it’s reasonable to assume that he will do everything necessary to improve the situation of himself and of those close to him. Women, and to a certain extent, men – will want the closeness and love of this man.
- A stable community. A human alpha, contrary to popular belief, usually has excellent communicative abilities. With this tool (plus his status) he can maintain the unity of the group to which he belongs. Leading to greater collective power, which translates into greater security and daily support from its members.
- Personal status. The president’s wife is called “the first woman”. She did not seem to have made a special effort to earn this title, but was given it anyway. This is because she is supported by the president – a strong figure. The logic is the same with the alpha male’s woman in the group. This status gives her special prestige, since she’s the one he chose. And don’t forget the jealousy of other girls in the group – which is every girl’s guilty pleasure.
- Boss. It’s not a politically correct thing to say, but both women and men want another person to manage them. Tell them what to do, when, and what will come of it. It sounds a bit unintuitive – a huge amount of people don’t like their boss and would like to be free of him while continuing making money. Still, there’s tremendous consolation in knowing that there’s someone responsible for your actions, and it’s not you. If something doesn’t work out, fails – there’s always someone else to blame (do you begin to see how the alpha male differs from the crowd?). It gives the conscience some quiet, a thought of “He’s the one who made a mistake, I just did what I was told”. Women want it in their man too. Someone who’ll make decisions and bear responsibility. Sounds a little exploitative, right? But don’t forget the other side of the equation: the wheel is in your hands. You get to choose where to drive.
- Honesty. No one likes being lied to, or wants to live with a person who’s untrustworthy. A feature that’s immediately noticed in alpha is the directness with which he presents things. If he doesn’t like something – he says so. Unlike the rest of the population, it’s a man who doesn’t hide behind a lie – as white as it may be – to avoid consequences, to please people or to be loved. He doesn’t need all this, and a short conversation with such a man immediately radiates how authentic he is. A woman can be sure that with such a man, she will always know the truth. This creates a wonderful sense of stability in her life.
Do I Have to Be an Alpha Male to Attract Women?
Not necessarily, but you must coordinate expectations for the type of women you will attract. It’s sort of like a girl who’d ask, “Do I have to be beautiful for men to be attracted to me?”. We both understand that the answer is “no”: men will be attracted, probably as a compromise. But the type of men is the point – in this case they will simply be men who have no other option. In other words: low quality men. It’s better for her to simply improve her looks and raise the quality of men who agree to go out with her.
It’s that simple, and that’s exactly the answer for you. Look, everyone eventually manages to get married if they really want to. I have no doubt that you know at least three girls who look really bad, and got themselves a man. I’m also sure you know at least three men who look bad or have a weak character and got a girlfriend / wife.
A Beautiful Woman’s Point of View
Like in a free market, everything here works according to supply and demand. You want a beautiful, sweet, intelligent girl? That’s cute – also at-least a billion more men.
This kind of girl is going to get dozens, hundreds and sometimes thousands (if we consider social media) offers, wooing and compliments in a single day. I’m not saying this to take the wind off your sails – you can certainly be the one who makes it and gets her (especially if you read this blog regularly).
But I want to focus on the girl’s point of view. She expects a lot. There’s a good chance that her self-confidence is high, and if that’s not the case (sometimes all the compliments in the world won’t change her perception of herself – you’ll be surprised how vast a number of girls this applies to), she still probably sees most men as a herd of spineless beings.
See, you too would’ve belittled women if they’d humiliate themselves in the thousands and beg you for some lousy acknowledgement, every single day, everywhere, nonstop. When you mentally enter the shoes of beautiful women, you understand how much she needs a strong man. How she’s desperate for such a figure when she has no hope in men these days.
The Need for Alpha
It’s very easy to see now the necessity of being an alpha male in order to attract beautiful, good, quality women. There is no other way, my friend. No woman with a high value in the market will date a man who doesn’t communicate control, confidence and power – she will never go out with a beta.
I may sound a bit pessimistic here, but the opposite is true: It’s not easy to become an alpha man, and that’s exactly your advantage if you’re serious about making the switch in your mind and changing your whole essence as a male. Do not forget: people avoid what’s difficult. They will always look for an easy way. Well, not changing and staying beta is pretty easy – no wonder we’re surrounded by betas.
I want you to pay attention to the tremendous advantage here – your competition really isn’t big! Pull yourself together and turn into a stronger and better person than whatever the norm suggests.
These poor girls are thirsty for a man who’ll take them out of the mediocrity swamp they keep on experiencing on a daily basis. I hope this encourages you, because it definitely should.
After having superficially defined the biological logic behind the desire of women in alpha males, I went deeper into the alpha male figure through three kinds of observations: his, the men’s, and women’s.
I tried to find a single word that would describe the mindset of an alpha male about himself and his environment, and I think “responsibility” is an excellent choice.
We went on to deal with how men see the alpha in the group, and divided them into two: the supporters – the good guys, the alliance; and the opponents – those he should keep an eye on, the opposition. I touched on the meaning of male dynamics through the eyes of women, and the role of the alpha in creating a harmonious, healthy and functioning society. Community plays an important part in women’s biological observation, and an alpha male with good communication skills can keep this system intact.
Then we reached women’s point of view on alpha, and I added key points about the advantages a woman has in choosing an alpha partner, as opposed to the rest of the men around her.
I tried to answer the question “Do you have to be alpha to attract women?”, and it’s, shortly, no. But to attract quality, beautiful women that everyone wants – yes, absolutely. A beautiful and desirable woman (we’re talking about thousands of offers, wooing and compliments each day) doesn’t have to compromise on an average man.
To prevent discouragement, I mentioned the advantage you have over other men, who probably will not take any significant action on the subject and will not take their masculinity to the next level. If you will, girls of the highest quality are going to find their way to you – they just need this guy to make them go, “Wow, that’s a real man!”.
You have a lot of power in your hands now, especially because you’re already here in the blog. Take advantage of this and change your life (and the life of desperate women) for the better.