How to Impress a Girl – 7 Simple Ways
In order to be one step above the men surrounding the girl you’re interested in, you must take the game to the next level. That’s what it means to impress – the girl was expecting a certain standard and got much more from you. The surprise and high standard you set as a man, makes you noticeable in her eyes, and you pave the way for a strong attraction.
Let’s see what makes a man impressive in girls’ eyes, what you can learn from that in the context of alpha male, and why sometimes a strong impression on a girl isn’t necessarily attraction.
There’s Nothing Impressive in a Man Trying to Impress
Unfortunately, no one is talking about this point. Lots of sites, videos and people give tips on what a man should do to impress a girl – but not a word about the biggest problem in this effort.
Trap of Inauthenticity
Women value honesty and directness far more than men think. By wandering the web for tips on how to be attractive, men encounter many techniques, gestures, looks and sentences that girls like.
The point everyone misses is that women do love certain behaviors in men, but behavior is worthless if it doesn’t come from within. That is, the behavior is inauthentic – it’s not who he really is, he just read / watched what he’s supposed to do or say, and hopes it will work. Women aren’t drawn to an open and secure body language – they’re drawn to a man who behaves like that as a consequence of being a fun, dominant person.
An insecure man who adopts such body language may attract a look or an interaction (after all, girls will be curious and wonder if he’s the man they’re looking for), but very quickly their true nature will be revealed and the girls will take a step back. Both because women are naturally sharp and also because they’re already used to men who do “attractive” techniques outward, while inside they’re just your everyday beta males.
Impress Without Trying
Creating a strong impression on a girl without making a conscious effort sounds tricky on the verge of impossible. The truth is that it’s easy, but to get there you must change your consciousness.
Most men think this way: “I’ll act like an alpha male so that girls will be attracted to me”. You have to think in a different direction: “I’ll be an alpha male because my life will be better”. For example, if a man adopts a secure, strong body language when he stays beta from the inside, not only will he not be able to hold out and keep his body in an impressive position (try chewing nonexistent food in your mouth – extremely tiring), he won’t fool anyone for more than a few moments.
On the other hand, a man who has set a goal of becoming an alpha male – a strong, dominant, social man – will naturally demonstrate an attractive body language. That’s who he is! He nearly never thinks about his body position, he’s simply in a good emotional state, stimulated – and his body automatically responds to these feelings. The women he attracts would stick around long after his body language interested them in the first place. This guy is the real thing.
Body language is an excellent example, because most of the time, our body is in a position that expresses our subconscious. Notice, for example, how your feet are resting on the ground right now. You didn’t really think about it, right? Your subconscious chose to do so, partly inspired by the emotional state you’re in. That’s how things work also in your tone of voice, thoughts, and general feeling – behavior comes from within, and that’s what’s so appealing about an alpha.
Indeed, I’m about to go through features and behaviors that women really like in a man, but it’s crucial that you understand why it impresses them, and make those things a personal standard, a behavior that’s always part of you – not just when you have to impress a girl.
What Impresses Girls?
I’ve defined impress as “create a higher standard than what the girl is used to or expects”. It may sound difficult, but I have good news for you: the standard men set today is very low. Look around you – how many alpha males do you know? How many men are a model of admiration to you? I’m sure that only a few.
I’m not in favor of aiming low in personal development, but if it encourages you – remember that the competition around you isn’t really tough. Let’s start by listing features and behaviors that give you an edge over other men.
Although most men do take a shower once a day on average and in most cases this is certainly enough, still, men tend to underestimate their showers and miss important spots to soap. If you don’t thoroughly sterilize your whole body (and no, water that drip on you with the shampoo doesn’t count), you’ll still remain dirty in these spots.
This means bacterial accumulation, and as time goes on you may start having bad odor from the areas you didn’t scrub properly. This is without talking about possible infections, pimples and medical problems that result from poor hygiene.
In the past, I belittled soap and tended to skip it in the shower out of laziness / ignorance. I don’t have a strong body odor and it played for my benefit in the interpersonal field. In the hygienic field, however, not at all. With time I began having pimples. For a year or so, I didn’t understand what the problem was, until I learned what soap really does to greasiness and dirt (until then, I thought it was only intended to make you smell good. Idiot, I know). The moral is to never be lazy about any matter of personal hygiene. Here are some points to keep in mind:
- Some people are genetically predisposed to have an oily skin. If you’re one of them, be sure to clean your face well in the shower and before bedtime.
- If you suffer from acne, try (in addition to thorough cleaning of the face) to replace the pillowcase every second night, and each single night turn the pillow over and sleep on the fresh side.
- Wash your entire body, every shower you take.
- Don’t skip shampooing. If not every day, then every second day. In addition, be sure to massage your hair and scalp thoroughly and deep – this is where oiliness accumulates.
- Brush your teeth thoroughly, morning and night. Visit the hygienist once or twice a year. Clean white teeth help a lot for a perfect smile.
- Deodorant is a necessity for most people today. We’re busy for hours on end, running from place to place and staying in the same clothes – a recipe for bad odor. Probably the best time to use is the moment before you leave the house.
- Clean clothes. Don’t be lazy about laundry. Not sure what counts as clean? Just smell and know.
More than how much girls value a hygienic man, it’s important that you will value hygiene, at least from a health standpoint. Still, yes, a very hygienic man – especially in the face – is already one level above a lot of men who just don’t bother. Girls notice these details (much because they themselves are obsessed with this stuff) and that’s very understandable, really. Would you like to touch someone you think isn’t clean?
Men who dress well have an advantage. People immediately notice them. They bothered to go, buy, match colors, include shoes that go well with the rest of the clothes – it simply screams “I’m worth it“.
Since women are, statistically, serious consumers of clothing and fashion (as opposed to most men), they immediately see the effort and taste in clothing the man exhibits. And hey, even if he was “wrong” and something wasn’t to their taste in his look, the strong statement remains: “I made an effort because my appearance is important”.
What’s considered pretty for a man? What’s fashionable today? I dive into the subject in my article about fashion and clothing for alpha men.
Okay, listen carefully: Honesty is, hands down, the best tool a man has for impressing a girl. No question there. Nothing highlights you better in the crowd like brutal honesty. A man who expresses his opinion and isn’t afraid of criticism from society or of his interlocutor is automatically high status. Sincerity serves you as an alpha male more than anything.
You’re probably wondering about unpleasant things that might come out of sincerity. Yes, there will be situations where girls will be offended or dislike what they hear from you – after all, that’s the nature of authenticity. But on her appreciation scale? You’ll be at the top.
No girl (or perhaps anyone) appreciates a man who tells a white lie to make her feel good. If a girl discovers something like that later on, she may thank him, maybe she’ll even be happy – but she won’t have any special appreciation for him. He is not truly honest. He’s simply part of society, which is generally quite hypocritical, as we know.
Honesty is such a rare quality today, and people desperately seek it – although it isn’t always pleasant. Try to remember the last time you had a sincere, open and frank conversation, as opposed to ones that were full of fake smiles and annoying agreeableness. I’m sure you’ll agree that the first is rare, yet much more welcome.
Be the light of authenticity in people’s lives. They won’t necessarily like it, but they will certainly appreciate you for it.
4. Deep Listening
Women are used to conversations where men hear them out, and their reaction is one of the following:
- Repeat what she said in a surprised or curious tone.
- Ask another question that isn’t relevant to what she said.
- Agree with her completely.
It’s so boring. Terrible! Who wants to talk with someone who has such poor listening and communication abilities?
Okay, so what quality-listening looks like?
- Be truly curious. Wonder something about her. When a question comes from you after wondering about it, you’re more interested in knowing the answer.
- Listen to her without thinking about what to say next. Just absorb information.
- Consider not only the words but also the tone and facial expression she has in certain parts.
- Ask questions to help you better understand what she means, interrupt her if necessary.
These methods will help you deeply understand who’s in front of you. As a result, you will begin to say and do things that are better connected with the other person – and that’s how tremendous appreciation for you is born.
Here’s a good example. A girl tells you this: “My father died two months ago, he brought me a pug shirt once, because I was sad. He always knew what I love”. Most men (of those who listened) would focus on the central idea of the sentence – the dead father. It’s good, of-course – but none of them listened carefully enough to get the hidden message. Now, imagine that you did listen carefully, you did get the information between the lines one day surprised her with a gift / experience related to pug dogs. Wow, you can realize how amazing it is for her.
Girls (and all people) really appreciate having someone who really listens to them. A man who appears to be more attentive than average (raising standards, remember?) is especially impressive. I talk in depth about powerful communication with women (even for shy guys) in my article on how to talk to girls like an alpha male.
5. You Have Your Priorities
Most men will make a lot of effort to arrange a meeting with a girl they like. Sometimes an effort that would be aggressive toward those close to them, and even toward their own best interest.
Girls notice when a man is available 24/7. The implication of such behavior is that the man is simply desperate for them. Needless to say, they don’t appreciate it. A man who’s an alpha doesn’t bend his life to get a girl in. Certainly not a girl who’s still somewhat a stranger to him.
I suggest you reconsider your priorities in life. As I see it, plans such as studies, exercise, meetings with friends (the most affected area in a man’s life, usually) should not be canceled for a girl. But hey, this is your decision alone. Just balance between having a girl and keeping your way of life the way it is.
When a man has a solid life of his own, and the girl isn’t allowed to enter and disrupt them, she gets a very positive impression of him. He’s stable. A quality most men don’t have today.
6. Your Time is Valuable
Highly connected to the previous. It’s fun to be in an attractive woman’s company, even more when you have a click. But sometimes men tend to forget about the time they spend with a girl, even if she’s already their girlfriend.
Do you know the saying that when something is unlimited it loses value? Make your time a more prestigious resource. You got together for a few hours and suddenly she wants you to stay for the night as well? It’s best to stick to the original plan and go as you intended beforehand. A girl who gets the impression that your time is too flexible loses some respect for you.
Obviously there’s no problem with spontaneity from time to time, it’s great to the extent. Just maintain a healthy balance with this. A man with defined schedule and occupations is certainly more appealing and impressive.
7. Demonstrate Decisiveness
Leadership and ability to lead are obvious qualities of alpha. Most girls prefer that the man takes command and makes a decision in most situations.
For example, an average beta will ask a girl he’s interested in (if he mustered the courage to talk to her at all) where she wants to go and eat. Much more impressive and alpha is to be ready with a place you love, and assume she will love it too. She will feel that you are taking her on an adventure in your world and everything is under your protection, while most men try to be a part of her world. Boring.
What Doesn’t Impress Girls (and Men Think Does)?
I didn’t plan to write this piece at first. But the more I saw the material that’s offered to men today (on Google, YouTube, etc.) about creating strong impressions on girls, I realized how much I must protest this nonsense and get you out of the stupid logic people try to sell you.
1. Buying Her Gifts
No, there’s no reason in the world that a little gift make you an impressive man in her eyes. Do you know how many men buy her gifts? There are two ways to win this gift-game and impress her:
- Buy her a present that she’ll truly connect to. One that will show phenomenal attention and understanding on your part, or impressive memory from a sentence she said in the past.
- Buy her a radically luxurious gift. We’re talking things like a new car, that expensive ring in the jewelry store, a yacht, etc.
Option 2 is bad for many reasons (some are not even on the practical level). Excessively spending money on a girl is never a good idea, and I elaborate on the subject in my article on the connection between wealth and attraction.
Option 1 is much more realistic and wise, as you saw above in the article in the part about deep listening.
By the way, flowers certainly count as a gift, if you wondered for a moment if they’re any different.
In conclusion, no, buying a gift in itself is not impressive, and doesn’t raise your status in her eyes. There’s nothing wrong with giving gifts, I hope I was clear on this. But assuming that the gift itself would make a strong impression? Nah.
2. Being Polite
A complete folly I’ve seen in many places. There’s zero connection between your level of politeness and how impressive you are. Today men are well trained anyway, I don’t see any point in continuing to encourage behavioral pressure on them. It’s not like today men are more successful with women than in the past. If anything, on the contrary.
In addition, it’s hard to say that gang members and criminals get no attention from girls, with all their vulgarity. The whole argument of politeness as a way to impress is detached from reality.
By the way, I choose to be a polite man. More than necessary, sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that. I just don’t delude myself that my politeness contributes to a positive impression on girls, because it doesn’t.
It may even be that rudeness has a slight advantage in impressing girls – thanks to the fact that a rude person is an exception in the crowd. Some girls who interpret this behavior as rebellious and courageous.
I don’t see any reason to elaborate, but since I saw this kind of suggestions teeming the web, I’ll ask: Dear reader, when was the last time you were impressed of someone for complimenting you? Never, right? There’s nothing impressive about compliments. And even if there was – you’d have no advantage over any man, simply because everyone is flattering girls nonstop. Next.
4. Eye Contact
You can create too little eye contact, and you can overdo it. The first creates a sense of disinterest or extreme shyness, and the other is pressuring and uncomfortable.
Most of our communication with people, at least those with whom we’re occasionally in touch, is done with a reasonable degree of eye contact (something like 70% of conversation time).
Sorry, but what exactly is impressing in a man who does what’s expected of any person who isn’t autistic or psychopathic?
Lying to Impress
Almost every article on this blog somehow talks about authenticity as a supreme value of an alpha male. If you need to lie to create a good impression on people around you, you’re not an alpha. Not even close. Ask yourself these questions:
- “What am I hiding?”
- “Why am I hiding this?”
- “What happens if I don’t hide this?”
- “What consequences might happen in the future because of this lie?”
The goal is to examine in depth what makes you feel insecure and urges you to lie in order to impress those in front of you. Sometimes we avoid dealing with our weak spots. Like a wound, treatment is unpleasant – yet absolutely necessary, otherwise the situation gets worse.
If you, for example, lie to girls you meet about your salary – you kind of fooling yourself in the long run. Getting into a relationship that’s based on a lie, even a seemingly small one, is a bad start.
In addition, lies bring to your life people who fit this lie. In other words: people who don’t suit you. If a girl expects a man who earns $ 5,000 and you earn $ 2,500 (and lie about that), how well do you think you two will manage? Even if she never finds out, your lifestyle will not be synchronized. You won’t be able to satisfy her desires, and this lie will haunt you. This logic applies to many common lies men and women make in attempt to impress.
Therefore, instead of lying, go with the truth. Think you’re not good enough? Make an effort to turn the lie into truth (like earning more money).
Impossible? Let it go.
With integrity, the right people will come into your life – and that’s what matters in the end.
Impressing is Not Attracting
It’s easy to get confused between these concepts. If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you can probably notice a slight overlap between the features that create a positive impression (above) and the traits of an attractive, dominant man. There’s a simple distinction:
- Impressing a girl means to create curiosity / initial interest in you.
- Attracting a girl means giving your acquaintance a romantic flavor.
Impressing is the way to grab a girl’s attention to draw her closer, so you can attract her and become desirable. Therefore, it’s not enough to impress. Making a first impression, good as it may be, is like paying for a television commercial without promoting any product or service.
To better illustrate the difference, try imagining a man with a beta character, but he has amazing juggling abilities. Would a girl be impressed by him? Probably. Will she be attracted to him? Almost certainly not. So, after you manage to catch the eye and attention of a girl, and you manage to impress her with all the techniques I presented above – it’s time to build an attraction, to demonstrate an alpha character.
The obvious question now is “How do I create attraction?”. This is a broad topic that requires, well… an entire blog to give an extensive answer. You’re welcome to use the rest of the articles here.
The main direction, in one word: alpha. This is the best way to become an attractive man. After all, there’s a reason why I devote a whole blog to being an alpha male.
I couldn’t talk about techniques to impress a girl before I touch on a trap that hurts a lot of men: the attempt to impress. Women move away from behavior that’s not authentic. So the best thing for a man is to adopt a high standard that he believes in. When the behavior and the impressive qualities come from him, and he acts like that whether there is a girl around or not – he isn’t desperate. Already impressive in itself. In addition, it was important I’d give a good definition to “impressing a girl”: to exceed the standard she expects / got used to from men.
From there we moved to practicality. I introduced features and behaviors that girls are very impressed with. It turns out that these are relatively simple things – the standard that most men set today isn’t really high. Among the impressive things there’s hygiene, deep listening and the most important of all: honesty.
I went on to features and actions that don’t impress girls, but for some reason, the Internet tells men that they do. I truly hope that I’ve managed to get some silly ideas out of you.
Then I expressed my opinion on the problem of lying in order to impress. My goal is to keep you away from any sense of unreliability. An alpha male shouldn’t lie about anything. If something doesn’t appeal to him, he changes it. And if this thing is out of his control – he lets it go.
Finally, it was important for me to prevent confusion between impressing and attracting. The first is the man’s way of getting positive attention, the second is to create the romantic vibe between him and the girl.
I’m convinced that you now have the tools to go out and impress girls. To show them a new standard in a man they had not yet met. And from there – to do your magic as a dominant, fun and attractive man.